Moment of Clarity

Through conversation with a few individuals, the questions and thoughts among them were different but all led to similar conclusions. They went something like this:

1. What in the hell am I doing here? Man, she is not even my type!
2. How did I get in this bed? Or better yet, how do I get out of this bed?!
3. Should I break up with her now or just wait a few more days?
4. I now know I have a really good girl at home.
5. I really love being with her.

The first and second thoughts listed above were very common among single men and those who weren't single. Since most men want to get their physical pleasure first, and then reflect about their current situation; it is almost not possible for these two thoughts to not cross their mind after they have sex. Just to make it clear; the questions do not arise due to any guilty feeling that one may be experiencing! On that note, we don't really want to cuddle, hold you, and talk about our potential future together; we want to get out of there as fast as possible. I mean, did you really think there was a relationship?

Awkward? Umm... yeah!

Awkward is getting caught sneaking out of her bed, and then being asked to come back to bed! Awkward is being asked are we dating, when you're thinking about your girlfriend who is wondering where the hell you are! Awkward is being told I love you, when you really want to tell her that your original plan was to break up with her before having sex, but failed to execute the plan! I mean these are the questions that most men have trouble giving the true answers to when being questioned at a ridiculous moment!

You see, that moment is so clear for us that we actually shock ourselves during that moment of deep thoughts. Everything seems so right and so wrong that even though we want to act-we can't! So we leave the confrontation for another day, another time, and another location; instead of dealing with the drama that we don't really need in our lives. However, every once in a while, we do realize that #4 is true, but only after the fact when it's too late! I guess that's one of the sweet secrets that some of us never tell our significant other even though we get married and tell everyone how faithful we've been. At the end of the day, #5 is the one that every female should hope that her man or soon to be man is thinking about during the 30-60 second after his final orgasm.

Social Vs Passive People

Social people

Let's start with the social butterflies of this world. They are easy approachable and always get all the smiles/chats and shouts when walking in the hallway. Go to any local club and you'll probably find a few.

The big benefit of this lifestyle is that you won't feel lonely very often. And that time flies because you share it with the people you love, or people that just happen to be around. And this boosts your health and lowers your stress levels. Plus you'd always have someone to talk to.

Disadvantages can be that you'd have less time practicing you hobbies and that the social web can outgrow you and become a mess to maintain.

Passive people

Often wrongly associated with nerds. These are the folks in the world that just prefer to be alone or are more focused on the task at hand, whether this is school or a personal project. They are generally less concerned with what other people think and they won't be the ones to make first contact - most of the time.

Benefit of this lifestyle is that it allows more time to be spending on hobbies or work. Also it helps sometimes to be able to make your own decisions. Go to the mall with a bunch of friends and you're likely to be stuck in a store you don't want to be in. Trust me, I've seen it on TV many times.

Disadvantages are that the inner person can feel lonely and unappreciated. The fear of dying alone can creep in and generally it isn't perfect for your health. According to research people like seeing other people and being around the mass lowers blood pressure and stress levels considerably.

Versus

Now let's compare both situations. I think honestly that both lifestyles are okay and that you should stick with whatever works for you. But I still want to point out that being social could help you in general. It's never bad to have a group of close friends around. They can surprise you in ways technical products never can. Because things you can buy inevitably lose their value. And a good friend never will.

Searching for a Lifetime Partner

Searching for a lifetime partner can be difficult sometimes before. Today, with the assistance of dating agency, Christians are able to find their ideal partner faster and more efficient using the agencies database of individual bio-data.

The agencies have already uploaded their services on their websites, making it more convenient for their clients to access their services at the privacy of their homes. Yes, you can socialize through the internet.

This means you skip traffic and go straight to socializing with the person. It may not be a perfect environment, but the minimum requirements to communication are provided by the system.

To help you find someone who will fit your personality, the system requires that you feed the correct information about your personal data and other relevant information such as likes and dislikes, hobby, etc. The system also gives you some privacy as to whom you will show your complete profile.

Have You Ever Felt Fooled by a Man?

You stopped going out with your single girlfriends to places to meet guys. You stopped dating other men. And it appeared as if he wasn't seeing anyone else either. He never gave off that vibe, after all he was checking in everyday. He wouldn't have had the time. You made plans together. You were sure you were both on the same page.

Then you found out you were WRONG. He was either seeing other women or he had a girlfriend. He didn't plan for a future together, he was just playing it by ear, day by day. You had decided all this based on his behaviour, but you realise that no where did he ever say that he was into you in the way you wanted him to be. You presumed that because you felt that way then he probably did too.

YOU NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED HIM!

Why? Because you were operating out of fear the whole time. You never had "that" talk with him because it felt as if you might scare him fully away if you had a serious talk when you were having such a good time. You didn't want to talk about the terms of your relationship. He might have backed off if you had.

But because you played it this way then you missed out on a key ingredient. You didn't put yourself first. Unless you were leaving it to chance or playing it by ear. ( I don't know too many women who aren't secretly wanting their relationships to move forward to a deeper connection) But a man also knows you aren't putting yourself first if you're not having that talk or requiring anything of him.

And if it's all about his needs and not about yours, because you're too afraid to tell him what your needs are, then if he's not had that talk with you then he's probably taking you for granted. So instead of doing it on his terms, being supportive of him, tell him what you want and put your terms forward.

Resistance to Change

Here are five points to keep in mind if you are the one making changes in order to understand the impact on your partner.

1. When you start something new expect that there will be resistance. Initially you may have the support of your spouse however as time goes by and your partner is impacted by the change it is followed by resistance to the change.

2. If you realize that this is bound to happen you will be more understanding of your partners adjustment to dealing with the change.

3. If you are the one embarking on change you also will also be dealing with your feelings of worry and anxiety if you can really make it all work the way you hope. Talk about your feelings and hopefully your partner will also share his/her worries.

4. Be sensitive to the fact that your partner may be feeling left out of your excitement about doing something that you are passionate about.

5. Change is healthy in the long run but unsettling while it is going on for all in the relationship.

All About A Love Meter

A meter of love is a device that is supposed to measure the love compatibility between two people. This is done by typing in two names into the selected areas and then pressing a button which may say calculate. The love meter should fill up, and then you should be given a percentage number which will tell you how compatible you are with the other person.

Usually how this thing works is the device takes the letters from both your names, and sees how many letters there are the same in both names. This is rounded down until you are given the finally result of the compatibility. There are many different types of these devices, and these are usually found on the internet. The World Wide Web holds many different ones that you can choose from, and these can all do the same thing.

One thing you need to remember when using these to calculate your love compatibility is that they are only for fun. There are many people who think they actually do predict your love life, but in fact they cannot. So do not take them seriously if you do decide to have a little fun with them. So if you want to see whether you and your boyfriend or girlfriend were meant to be, then why not take a test on one of these and see what you can come up with, you may even have fun while doing it with your hoodies pulled well around your heads.

Sample Online Dating

As part of the Dating Tales series on providing sample online dating profile examples, here is our first online dating profile sample. Keep in mind that this is completely fictional and is only meant to give you an idea of what an online profile can look like.

Handle – HedgeCraig357
Name – Craig
Age – 32
Location – Des Moines
Seeking – Ambitious, career-oriented woman
Interests – Building my business, the History Channel, golf

About Me

Here I am all shiny and new to online dating. I finished grad school in ‘06 and since then I’ve spent little time in the bars or out and about meeting new people. In fact, if you don’t work downtown and aren’t interested in hedge funds, then there’s no way I would’ve met you before now.

Needless to say, my job has sort of overtaken my life and now I’m trying to get back on the bus and into the world of dating. First stop? Match.com.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a relationship, I do. But I’m not about to just jump into one. I’m much more interested in meeting someone for a fun date and seeing where that takes us. I don’t jump into decisions at work and there’s no way I’ll jump into a relationship either. For now, I’m interested in going out, having fun, and getting to know someone who will respect my job and all the time it requires of me.

If it turns out we make better friends, great, and if it’s more than that, then even better.