Moment of Clarity

Through conversation with a few individuals, the questions and thoughts among them were different but all led to similar conclusions. They went something like this:

1. What in the hell am I doing here? Man, she is not even my type!
2. How did I get in this bed? Or better yet, how do I get out of this bed?!
3. Should I break up with her now or just wait a few more days?
4. I now know I have a really good girl at home.
5. I really love being with her.

The first and second thoughts listed above were very common among single men and those who weren't single. Since most men want to get their physical pleasure first, and then reflect about their current situation; it is almost not possible for these two thoughts to not cross their mind after they have sex. Just to make it clear; the questions do not arise due to any guilty feeling that one may be experiencing! On that note, we don't really want to cuddle, hold you, and talk about our potential future together; we want to get out of there as fast as possible. I mean, did you really think there was a relationship?

Awkward? Umm... yeah!

Awkward is getting caught sneaking out of her bed, and then being asked to come back to bed! Awkward is being asked are we dating, when you're thinking about your girlfriend who is wondering where the hell you are! Awkward is being told I love you, when you really want to tell her that your original plan was to break up with her before having sex, but failed to execute the plan! I mean these are the questions that most men have trouble giving the true answers to when being questioned at a ridiculous moment!

You see, that moment is so clear for us that we actually shock ourselves during that moment of deep thoughts. Everything seems so right and so wrong that even though we want to act-we can't! So we leave the confrontation for another day, another time, and another location; instead of dealing with the drama that we don't really need in our lives. However, every once in a while, we do realize that #4 is true, but only after the fact when it's too late! I guess that's one of the sweet secrets that some of us never tell our significant other even though we get married and tell everyone how faithful we've been. At the end of the day, #5 is the one that every female should hope that her man or soon to be man is thinking about during the 30-60 second after his final orgasm.

Resistance to Change

Here are five points to keep in mind if you are the one making changes in order to understand the impact on your partner.

1. When you start something new expect that there will be resistance. Initially you may have the support of your spouse however as time goes by and your partner is impacted by the change it is followed by resistance to the change.

2. If you realize that this is bound to happen you will be more understanding of your partners adjustment to dealing with the change.

3. If you are the one embarking on change you also will also be dealing with your feelings of worry and anxiety if you can really make it all work the way you hope. Talk about your feelings and hopefully your partner will also share his/her worries.

4. Be sensitive to the fact that your partner may be feeling left out of your excitement about doing something that you are passionate about.

5. Change is healthy in the long run but unsettling while it is going on for all in the relationship.